A Bit of help
by DomesticatedPiggy
Summary: Bit is a hyperactive, crazy, cringy kid who just moved to the city and transferred to a new skool. Read this story and join her as she...ruins everything! (It's basically an Invader Zim OC insert story. Hopefully you'll see it's not as bad as it sounds and maybe even like it?)
1. Chapter 1 - A Little TidBit

Invader Zim: A Bit of help: Chapter 1

* * *

 **BWEEEEE BWEEE BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

"Piggies! My one and only wish! It came truuuuuuuuuuue!" **Bit exclaimed in crazed delight one fateful morning, as she jumped up and out of bed, and bashed her head on the ceiling.**

"Ow..." **She rubbed her head as she fell back down on her bed. Having noticed the plush surface beneath her, she came to an obvious realization,** "Oh! I was sleeping. Musta just been my alarm then!" **She looked over at her phone which was still emitting loud swinish squeals** **and reached over to her nightstand to turn it off.** "I'm such a silly billy sometimes!" **She said, giggling to herself hysterically.**

 **Bit then got up and went to the kitchen to have breakfast. Not actual food, mind you! But a drink which she had prepared earlier.**

 **The drink in question was actually more of a...concoction of Bit's own creation. What was it you ask? Well, Bit had a bit of a history with it-**

"GO GO JUICE!" **the girl exclaimed, opening the fridge.**

 **Please let me finish.**

"I'm sowwy!" **Bit replied to the narrator.**

 **...Anyway...As you probably heard: It was go-go juice.**

 **After seeing it on the Honey Boo-Boo show, Bit had decided that it would be a good idea to make some herself. On the show, the ingredients had consisted of various energy drinks and unhealthy fizzy beverages-**

"And my favorite soda, mountain mist!" **She reminded the narrator.**

 **Yes, mountain "mist". I'm getting to that bit, Bit. As I was saying, Bit changed the ingredients up. I believe there was the usual mix of energy drinks, but then there were also some other additions-**

"I put in a bit of ginger root! So I won't have a soul! So I can go on eating piggies!" **The girl continued with a toothy grin.**

 ***sigh* Yes, what she just said. Please don't interrupt me this time.**

 **After she made go-go juice for the first time, her guardian and grandmother, Gam, did not approve. She said it was unhealthy to drink such "graywater". Gam then tried to dump it down the drain. This, unfortunately, resulted in the pipes being clogged by the mucilaginous substance and she had to pay a exorbitant sum to have them replaced.**

"She yelled at me for weeks! Good times! But now she's moved on to other things!"

 **Yep... When Bit made her "go-go juice" another time. Gam had endeavored to eradicate such expenditures. Instead of dumping it anywhere near the interior of her home, she had dumped it outside. That soon proved to be a catastrophically bad idea, as, soon after, fire ants had gathered around the syrupy goop and just as quickly infested their home completely.**

"That's why we moved here! To get away from those horrible bugs! **The increasingly aggravating girl explained.**

"Hey! That's not nice!" **Bit indignantly exclaimed.**

 **Bit's little mess-up forced her grandmother to have them move away from their quiet home in a small peaceful town. Wanting a change of scenery, Gam found them an apartment located in the big city where they now live-**

"Blah blah blah, it's all Bit's fault-" **The girl started to nag the narrator.**

 **Hey! I'm just doing my job. People like stories written in the third person where they can see THE NARRATOR'S perspectives on things.**

"You're no fun! And I'll have ya know, I don't really give a flying pig about that!" **She glares.**

 **You should! Or else this story's going to get little to no views!**

"Whatever. You're just a hater. Bye bye narrator! Enjoy your doom!" **The girl grins demonically as she waves evilly.**

 **What?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SOMEONE HELP ME!**

 _'Mwahahaha, they're gone! I changed the point of view!'_

None of this was canon, okay readers? Well, except the part with me waking up. But all the self-aware stuff up to this point tooootally wasn't. Now let's get on with the story from MY point of view this time!

Bit's POV (present)

I blink.

I'm looking into my refrigerator at the container of go-go juice. _'Guess I spaced out for a moment there.'_

I glance at my phone which I've had in my hand the entire time. It's 7:00 AM already!

"Oh no! Golly gee willikers! I'm gonna be late for the bus on my first day of skool!"

I gulp down a glass of delicious ggj. Then I decide I'm gonna need some extra pep to get to the bus stop on time and down another glass.

Then I impulsively think that Gam will be pissed if she sees that I made more- (she probably didn't notice it before cause' I put it in a big soda bottle and it seemed like a normal drink, but if she notices later, it'll mean bad news.) -and I gulp down the rest straight from the bottle, disposing of it in the recycle bin.

I get ready for the day as quickly as I can, -only stopping to grab my backpack full of stuff and my phone- and haste out the door to the bus stop Gam had shown me earlier. _''Cause I'm obviously too stupid to use Giggle maps.'_

"Teehee. GIGGLE maps!.." I laugh to myself as I run.

When I get to the bus stop, the skool bus is already there and the doors are open. Some kids are walking onto the bus. I run and just barely make it onto the bus myself. However, this having been the city bus stop where all the kids get on, there are only a few seats left. Most of these kids probably have their own favorite spots already too. But I wouldn't since I transferred schools a week after school started.

Some seats next to the bus driver are some of the free ones. I'd guess it's obviously because the kids don't want to be seen next to the driver because, in the same way as with being the "teacher's pet", you can't be seen anywhere near the driver without being thought of as a loser.

 _'Oh well!'_

I sit down next to the bus driver and set my backpack onto the seat next to me, since it's a two-seater. I open my backpack and duck down to rummage inside it better and that's when a spitball goes whooshing over my head.

It hits and gunks the area next to the driver, but he doesn't notice at all. Actually, the driver seems totally spaced out and I think he's drooling? Eugh...

Anyway! I don't glance back at whoever shot the spitball. _'They aren't the kind of people who are worth acknowledging! Because they are total wipes!'_

Instead, I just decide to switch seats. I pick up my backpack and walk down the moving bus' corridor. As I do, some kid sticks out his leg to trip me. I hop over it and ignore the jerkwad, but they yell after me,

"GIT REKT NEEEEEEEW KIIIIIIID!1!11!"

 _'Get rekt? Really? Now, I may be childish, but even I wouldn't say something so..nooby. Like, the first thing that comes to mind is some kid who's just won a round of call of doody for the first time or something. They're obviously quite the amateur at what they do.'_

I turn around and snort in this snot-nosed brat's face. Looking him straight in the eyes, with a maniacal grin, I yell, "Kid, did you even wipe this morning! Cuz you're so full of it, dookie seems to be dripping out your nose. HAH!"

And with that, I turn on my heel and trot off down the corridor again, leaving the kid stumbling for a reply and a few other kids laughing behind me. I'd consider that a victory.

As I'm walking down the corridor again, I notice a kid sitting around the middle of the bus. It's a girl with purple pigtails and extremely prominent braces. What catches my attention is that she has her backpack on the seat next to her, meaning it's free.

"Hi there!" I smile at the girl. "Mind if I sit there?" I ask, gesturing towards the spot where she has her backpack.

"No, not really..." She says, slightly moving over and taking her backpack as well.

"Thanks a bunch! Uhhhh...what's-yer-name?" I phrase it as a question near the end. Smiling widely as I do so.

"Oh um..." She starts. "It's Gretchen..."

"Gretchen huh? I think that's a German name! Hey, mind if I call ya Gret tho? It's shorter!" I carry on the conversation enthusiastically.

"That's fine with me..." She says quietly and stops.

"So, Gret! Do you take the bus every day?" I ask.

"Yeah..."

"That's great! Can I sit next to you every day from now on then?"

"..." She doesn't say anything, so I look towards her. She seems kind of crestfallen.

"Hey! If it's not okay with you, go ahead and tell me! I don't bite." I say in a more friendly manner.

"Sorry, it's just...You'll probably change your mind..." She says, seemingly putting herself down.

"Whaddya mean?" I ask, more than a little surprised.

"I'm one of the rejects...at skool I mean. You wouldn't want to be seen hanging around me." She replies dejectedly.

I blink. "Look, I don't care about that! You see what I did to that _odious_ cretin back there? Not. Giving. One. Care."

"That _was_ pretty cool of you..." And now, she finally smiles back. I grin wider.

"Heck yeah it was! And it was totally awesome of _you_ to let me have a seat! So, are we cool now?"

"We're...cool..." Gretchen says smiling after hesitating a bit. Almost like the word, "cool" is completely foreign to her.

We spend the rest of the bus ride just chatting. I finally tell her my name and then I ask her what her interests are. She tells me she likes soccer and drawing, but she isn't that great at drawing. I know she's probably just putting herself down though.

I tell her I like gaming, and tell her I should show her my Gameslave sometime. Then, I impatiently ask how much longer the bus ride will be and when she says we're almost there, I change the subject to skool. Asking what her favorite subject is. She tells me they don't have art and instead have "taxidermy" class, so she doesn't really have a favorite subject. When I ask why, she tells me she doesn't have any friends. And it's implied that skool is miserable for her because of that one fact. Not just implied actually, it's basically an unspoken fact.

"Everyone just...hates me..." She says, seeming close to tears.

I know exactly how she feels, _though she'll never know that_.

"I'll be your friend!" I give her a crazed, toothy grin.

"You...will?.. Even after...you know..."

"Of course Gret! After all, you're already my best buddy so far, amirite?" I grin wider.

"...Thank you..." She murmers.

I secretly feel empowered.

"Don't mention it!"

The bus pulls up beside the skool and Gretchen and I wait for everyone to get off before getting up ourselves. When we're off the bus, Gret speaks up.

"The skool bell will ring...in 15 minutes," She says, checking her phone.

"Oh! Gam said I'd need to go get my schedule and stuff from the main office! Do you know where it is?" I inquire.

"Yeah... I can take you there." She smiles.

We walk through the skoolyard. A lot of the kids stare as we pass and I get the bright idea to wave to them, purposely drawing attention to myself as I make sure to stare at all of them as well. As soon as they see me waving, they all begin to look away. _Good riddance._

We head to the office. We get there in pretty much one second since it's almost at the entrance and the door even has a label on top of it stating it's the office.

"Gee Gret, I coulda found this place myself, ya know." I deadpan. Gretchen seems flustered by my comment.

"Sorry..." She says.

"You don't have to apologize for wanting to spend more time with me! ..." I say jokingly, but I trail off, seeing Gretchen's expression.

"Wait...was that...actually the case?" I say, a little surprised.

"..." She looks down.

"Hah! Imagine that!" I say, then try to laugh off her embarrassment, but when she doesn't join in, I get a bit worried.

"Hey... Don't worry about it so much!" I beam at her. "I'm glad you wanted to come with me! Shows that you're a keeper!" I wink.

"..."

"Seriously Gret! It's fine, don't-"

Suddenly, she turns and she runs, and I mean, _dashes_ away. I only have time to blink before I reach out an arm and yell, "GRETCHEN! WAIT!" But she's gone.

I don't go after her though. I know from experience that she probably wants to be left alone right now. And it's not like I know where she went. Begrudgingly, I accept it's best that I talk to her later.

I allow myself to let out a single sigh. Then, I straighten myself and force myself to smile again. I _have to_ keep smiling.

Just before I reach the office door, it opens and the snoot-face from the bus runs straight into me! He displays utmost hideousness on his mug and wheezes into my face, "your first and last day, loser doozer," before triumphantly walking away.

I look back at that bum-wipe for only a moment before I knock on the office door with the expression of joy still somewhat preserved on my face.

I hear "come in". I enter and say to the gentleman sitting there, "hiya! I'm the new student. I'm here for my schedule!" Shock, the expression on the man's face, as he hears this simple statement. His smile instantly metamorphosizes into an expression of unmitigated displeasure. My smile slightly falters. _'Uh-oh.'_

* * *

 **Author's Note: I know I should be working on my other stories (especially my Miraculous Ladybug one), but you guys have to understand, Invader Zim is my favorite cartoon ever! :D And well, I started writing a fanfic when I was 11 and I always wanted to get back to writing an Invader Zim story again. So please, favorite, follow and review if you enjoy this story so I know it was worth the time! :)**

 **Also, if anyone has time of their own, I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism so I can improve my writing for all of you! :)**


	2. Chapter 2 - Beef with Keef

Invader Zim: A Bit of Help - Chapter 2: Beef with Keef

* * *

"Please, take a set."

I narrow my eyes at him for a second, but do as he asks. I'm in kind of a bad mood now.

I sit down and realize that the chair is still warm. Presumably from the snot-face who was just in here -spouting dookie, like it was coming out of a whale's blowhole- and it makes me wonder what sort of bacteria has to be gathered on this chair.

I shudder visibly at the very thought, letting out a tiny "eugh..." in disgust.

The office assistant/the guy with some job at the skool, notices and says, "You're not in any trouble." "Notyetanyway!" He says that last part quickly and cheerfully, like it was some obligation of his to admit that.

You know, like those TV commercials where they say that stuff isn't necessarily what it seems really quickly at the end...if you get my gist.

"I only want to ask you some questions." He leers, clearly trying to grin in a friendly manner, but being very unconvincing in the end.

"Okay!" I say with my trademark grin. I'm still annoyed though.

He looks down at some papers in his grasp. I'm guessing they're from or are going into, some file on me.

"So, your name is Bit...top-sel...How do you even say that o?"

"It's Töpselinen!" I pronounce it perfectly. "Töpseli basically means wall plug in Finnish! You know, like electrical ones!"

"Yes, yes of course." He continues with a smile, metaphorically "waving" my statement off. "And you live with your grandma?"

It must be in the file, he's probably just asking-

"Yep!" I beam.

-to put me at ease. I won't be fooled though.

Two can play at this game. And I have a little power-up I like to call flattery.

"What's YOUR name, sir?" I ask politely.

He seems genuinely surprised, almost like if a- a _whale_ suddenly developed wings and crash landed into the school, that'd be...less surprising. Sorry, that was another forced whale joke.

Anyway, that's how preposterous it must seem to him for him to have such an expression.

That kid musta really SPOUTED a lot of dookie just now. Right into this man's willing earholes.

Of course, I don't know how his earholes _themselves_ can be willing, but you get it. (That was weird.)

"I'm Mr. Elliot. Welcome to our skool, Bit." He says finally, still in a state of shock.

"The pleasure's all mine!" I reach out a hand, offering to shake. It's my left hand.

I still don't like this guy one bit.

((Haha, funny jokes guys...I don't like him as much as one of myself! Haha, what a riot!))

He doesn't shake my hand and I guess he noticed this sign of rudeness because he narrows his eyes as I study his expression.

"Bit, let me ask you something slightly personal. Have you ever been bullied?"

I smile slyly. Now I'm annoyed.

"Define bullying," I taunt.

Mr. Elliot seems taken aback, but quickly recovers and says lowly, "You know, bullying is a very serious matter, Bit-"

"I know, and that's why I want to hear your definition of it, Mr. Elliot," I state in a composed manner, making him look foolish.

"Bullying is..." He begins flusteredly. _'Almost like a kid who doesn't know the answer to a question in class,'_ I think to myself. I snort out loud and he stops.

Then he starts again, "Bit, I will not tolerate such disrespectful behavior towards adults and students alike. Especially not on your first day of-"

"B-but..." I put on my best puppy dog eyes. "I still don't know what buwwying is, Mr Ewwiot!" I burst out laughing at the end and Mr. Elliot goes red in the face.

"I've never done this before, but..." He mutters. "Bit, go to the principal's office!" He says as he gets up and points at the door, clearly trying to show authority, but just coming off as upset.

"Can I have my schedule please?" I ask calmly, with a smirk.

Mr. Elliot hands me a paper that was on the table the whole time. Or so I think. He doesn't let go of it.

"Consider this a warning, Bit. If this behavior continues, we will have no choice but to suspend-"

"You wanna know what I think, Mr. Elliot?" I look away in a sad manner. Maybe I can still save this by seeming apologetic.

I don't see his expression, but he doesn't continue what he was saying, perhaps intrigued. I pull the schedule out of his hand with ease.

"I think bullying is basically...any kind of abuse of superior strength towards another. Particularly, one who cannot fight back."

"Bit, have you been-" Mr Elliot starts, but I'm already shaking my head.

I look up and smile once more, less mockingly this time.

"I don't claim to be a victim of bullying. I'm pretty lucky, don't ya think?"

"Then, do you bully others?" He gets straight to the point.

"No..." I start, looking to the side, but then I look up and grin maniacally. "But sometimes, I fight back..." I notice his expression and add, "verbally." He seems relieved.

"Alright, I'll have to look into what happened on the bus, Bit," he starts. "You _don't_ have to go to the principal's office."

"Woohoo!"

"On one condition."

"Aww..."

"If someone offends you, do not attack them...verbally."

"What?" I start, indignation flaring up. "But that kid was-"

"Now, I don't want to hear any excuses. I told you I'll look into this. And as long as you come straight to a teacher when someone gives you a hard time from now on, you won't be in any trouble."

"Fine..." I admit defeat. No snarky comments? Okay, I can live with that! As long as I don't get suspended on my first day of skool.

Wait...

"You're a teacher?" I ask, shocked.

"Sure am!" He says cheerfully. "I teach 6A's homeroom and science and taxidermy for grades 6 and 7."

"Totally tubular, man!" I exclaim. I look at my schedule and see that I'm in class 7c with Ms. BITTERS. Great.

"What's the Bitters like? I bet she's sweet, despite her name!" I say sarcastically, but in a still kind of cheerful tone.

"Oh she's..." He begins. "She's strict, but she'll...teach you alright." His grin slightly falters.

"Okie-dokie, pig-rump-pokey!" Elliot gives me an odd, slightly concerned look and I'm reminded that I don't want to be on a teacher's bad side.

I try to make myself look guilty, even though I'm still kinda mad at him for taking away my snark priveleges.

"Um..." I act hesitant. "Sorry if I was being mean earlier," I apologize.

"Oh, no worries. It's quite alright, Bi-"

The bell interrupts him. _'Poor thing keeps getting interrupted, haha.'_

"You'd better get to class." He says simply, smiling all too cheerfully. I take back my apology _and_ my pity just then. I don't like him.

"What about you?" I deadpan.

"Oh! 6A's homeroom's later today. And I'm supposed to be-" His eyes open wide in realization after the first sentence. "Wait, why am I telling you this?"

"No idea." I say, with a confused expression.

He facedesks. "Just...go..." He mumbles.

So I do. I head towards a hallway with no idea where I'm going now that the kids have dispersed to their respective classes, but who the heck cares? I just know I have homeroom with Ms. Bitters. I'll find it somehow.

I pass some doors. I find the empty class 6a and the occupied, but quiet, class 7b. I guess their teacher is strict too. I feel like Elliot would have a hard time controlling a class though.

I keep walking, passing some more doors and briefly checking that they're not 7C, until I reach an intersection with a bunch of doors and labels saying what the rooms are used for: Math, Chemistry, Biology, Taxidermy, Detention (above the hallway I came from, I guess it must be there too), Nurse, Science, Physics...you get the gist.

And then there's a hallway continuing on, so I go there. Near the end of the hallway, I locate it.

Class 7c.

I knock on the door and through the little window on the door, I see something like a shadow swooping towards me from the other side. The door opens and an old lady who I assume to be Ms. Bitters is standing there. She states, "You're late," and _growls_ at me. Though she does move out of the way to let me in.

Even though I'm not really scared of anything (except clowns of course), this lady definitely intimidates me. There's a deep-rooted darkness about her. That's all I can say about that.

I walk past her into the class and she swoops ahead of me. Literally _swoops_. I guess I wasn't just seeing things before.

I feel the need to speak up for fear that she get even more pissed.

"S-sorry, Miss Bitters. I had to talk to Mr Ell-"

"I don't want to hear anymore excuses! Now briefly introduce yourself and then, be quiet!" She yells in a raspy voice.

Okay, she made herself clear enough. I face the class. I notice Gretchen in the far back, but I try not to focus on her, lest I make her even more uncomfortable after what happened.

"Hi..." I start a little shakily, "I'm Bit! I love pigs and all sorts of other cool stuff!" I say, not being specific. "I hope we all become the best of friends!" I smile and wave a little, still somewhat nervous about being in front of the whole class, plus Bitters isn't helping.

"You'll need a place to sit. You! You've only been in my class a week and have already proved to be horrid! You'll be transferred to the underground classroom!" Miss Bitters exclaims, pointing a finger at a kid in the front, on the far right.

The kid goes down in her desk screaming, while the girl behind her, with slicked-up purple hair stares, horrified. I briefly wonder what the underground classroom is like, but then I decide not to worry too much about it. It can't be much worse than this anyway.

"Hmm..." Miss Bitters starts again, then points at a boy with bored looking eyes and glasses in the seat next to that one. "You're going too! I'm tired of you already!" And that kid goes down screaming as well.

"Bit, choose your seat. And make it quick! I don't want to delay class any further."

I just hurry to the seat that's closer to me, the one in the middle, leaving the one on the far right empty.

I stuff my schedule in my backpack and put it around the back of my chair. I think my schedule had my locker number and combination on it, but I didn't have time to go there, so I'll just have all my books and stuff with me for now.

Class goes on. Bitters rambles about something and I figure it's not worth listening to since she hasn't given any assignments. The bell rings and I get up. The other kids stampede out of the classroom along with Gretchen. Great. I'm alone again.

A kid with scythe-like hair who I noticed in the front is one of the last kids to leave class, along with me. He walks out the door and I follow him.

"Hi!" I say to him excitedly. He looks back, uninterestedly and half-heartedly waves.

"Hey..."

"I like your hair!" I compliment him.

He pauses. "Look, if you don't have anything important to say, I'll be going now."

 _Yeesh, how rood...No wonder it looks like he has no friends._

I catch up to him. "Okay, I'll go. But first, tell me your name!"

"Dib. Dib Membrane. Now just leave me alone..." Dib says.

' _Membrane? Is he the famous professor Membrane's son then? Come to think of it, he did live in this town and have scythe hair as well. Wow, I guess he either never talks about poor Dibby-boy here...or he's just a wannabe fan.'_

"Okie doke! See you around Dibby!" I grin widely and wave before skipping past him.

The next two classes go by in a blur. Then we have our lunch break.

I walk into the cafeteria, lunch in tow. I packed my lunch in my backpack so I don't have to eat the presumably crappy cafeteria food. Sure enough, it seems we have rice and ketchup today. I notice Dib and a purple haired girl sitting practically alone at a table.

Dib is poking at his rice and ketchup, while the girl seems to have packed a lunch, but is focused on her game. I sit down next to them.

"Hiya guys!" I say to both of them. Dib stares annoyed, while the purplette seems to pause her game with a ding noise and looks up. "Do you mind?" She says.

I blink. "Oh, sorry. I'll be quiet."

"No, I mean, get away from our table. Now."

I shrug. "Naw, I don't feel like it."

She glares some more, then says, "whatever," and goes back to her game.

I listen to the sounds. Sounds like Vampire Piggy Hunter, but I don't dare to mention it. Instead, I carefully open my lunch box and pull out its entire contents, a box of fruit gummy snacks. I open that as well and silently think to myself, _Sure, they've been jerks, but you know, maybe Dib is just anti-social. He seemed like he had certain things he was interested in, but small talk isn't one of them. Either way, I can't just respond negatively, Mr. Elliot said so._

So instead, I hope for the best and pass them each a small bag of fruit gummies.

"What's this?" Dib asks right away, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh this? This is just to add a little sweetness to your life." I grin. "Enjoy, you guys!~"

The girl pauses her game again. I grin a little more nervously, "Aaaaand- that's my cue to leave." I say, taking my lunch.

And with that, I get up and stalk away. "Gotta look for Gretchen.~ Do do do do,~" I mutter, half-singing it under my breath.

Some kids stare, but I don't care _. 'Hey! That rhymes!'_

I notice Gretchen at a faraway table in the corner with some other kids and I rush over. She notices me right away and seems tense, but I don't let that bother me.

"Hey Gret!"

"Hey..." She says, looking down and away shyly.

I walk closer to her and just looking at her expression makes me all sad and anxious on the inside.

"I'm really sorry Gret. I understand if you don't want to talk about what happened."

"..." She hides her face in her arms.

Even though I hardly know her, I really feel for her.

"I-I just hope we can still be friends."

She looks up. She must've heard it. Something in my voice, my expression...besides happiness. I try to force myself to smile again at the last minute, but I know it just looks pathetic. I look away myself.

"Bit, of course...I want to be your friend. ...And thank you...so much..."

I smile a little again. "What for?"

"For not giving up on me..." She replies shyly. I feel like she wants to say more, but there's no need.

"No problem Gret!"

I sit down after that. Gretchen informs me of the others' names. The other rejects must've heard our conversation, but most of them seem to not react to it, except for Keef, who is touched and makes that abundantly clear as soon as Gretchen introduces him...last.

"Wow! You guys are such good friends! That's so cool! I really love that! Do you mind if I join in on the fun?!" Keef exclaims creepily.

Gretchen doesn't say anything which I take as a sign of caution. Not wanting to be openly rude, I somewhat lead him on since I don't know what I'll do just yet. I need to talk to Gret about this. "SURE!" I say in a disgustingly sweet voice. "See you at recess!"

Keef blinks. "Oh okay! See you then _too_!" He moves in and sits right next to me, a little too close for comfort. _'Okay, this kid does not know how to take a hint.'_ I scoot away as much as I can.

I open my lunchbox once more, taking out two packets of fruit gummies.

"Are those fruit gummiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies?" Keef shrieks. "Can I have some? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" I ignore him and walk over to Gretchen. I hand one pack to her under the table. Then I whisper, "Is it just me or is this kid kinda clingy?"

Gret whispers back in reply, "It's not just you. He's known for being a stalker... Be careful."

"Okay, I will." I walk around the table back to my seat across from Gret. Keef is sitting nonchalantly, creepy grin still plastered on his face. I wonder if people think of me as creepy when I smile like that. _'Probably. But who cares? Sometimes that's kinda the point anyway.'_

As I walk, I come up with an idea. I open the other pack down the middle, a little from each side.

I then offer it to Keef, firmly grasping the other end. "Here, you can have some too, Keef!"

"Oh boy! No one's ever shared with me before!" He exclaims and viciously grabs it. I don't let go right away and I smirk as the gummies go tumbling out onto the seat and the floor.

"Ooooh! Sorry Keef! It's a pity that they fell on the ground! But they're definitely still worth eating! Yep! _You shouldn't waste them."_ I grin back in the same way that he did. A little too widely, saying the last part in a veiled threat.

 _'If he's a stalker, then this should drive him away,'_ I think to myself.

But then, he continues smiling and with an "okay!" he proceeds to pick them up, stuffing them in his mouth.

I think to myself _, 'For all the unyielding rigidity of a brick wall, he sure folded very quickly to my demands. I almost feel sorry for him, but I know I must use this to my advantage or be taken advantage of. I don't want a stalker on me like a pig on truffles.'_

"Hey losers! Enjoying your floor food?" I turn to see snot nose and his friends walking towards us.

 _'Not my problem. I shouldn't get involved.'_

"You should lick her boots too, while you're at it!"

 _'Was that a jab at me? Okay, he's asking for it... Nothing too severe Bit, you don't want to get in trouble...'_

"Sturdy items of footwear are not edible solids and therefore should not be anywhere near Keef's oral orifice. Fruit gummies, however, are a delectable, palatable treat suited for human consumption and are worth ingesting, even after having plummeted to the floor."

"Uhhhhh... I don't know what that means, but uhhhh, my boots are better than yours! And you're a nerd!"

"Precisely." I reply simply. ' _What can I say? I AM a nerd.'_

"You're weird!" He says, clearly not comprehending that either, "C'mon guys. Let's go!"

After they're gone, Keef exclaims, "Wow, Bit! You're the best for defending me!"

 _'What? He understood what I said? Great. And how does he even know my name?'_

"I wasn't defending you, Keef. I don't like people licking my boots is all." I say bluntly, speaking both literally and metaphorically.

Soon, the bell rings and recess rolls around. Keef says, "Yipeeeee! Recess! Now we can play tetherball and- and climb on the jungle gym! Oh! There's so many possibilities!"

"Yeah okay." I say unenthusiastically, "But first, Gretchen and I have to go to the bathroom!" She nods silently and we both run in the opposite direction, not waiting for Keef's reply.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** **So..I was planning on introducing Zim in this chapter, but it was already getting pretty long so that'll be something for next chapter...**

 **Looks like Bit and Gretchen have a bit of a beef with Keef anywho. xD Please follow, favorite and review if you enjoyed! Aaaand I'll see you next time!**

 **Scarecrow345 - Thanks for the feedback! :D**

 _ **Piggy out!**_


	3. Chapter 3 - The Nightmare Begins(w Bit)

**Chapter 3 - The Nightmare Begins Part 1 (w/ Bit)**

* * *

I pull the girl's bathrooms' door shut behind us and let out a tired sigh, slightly letting my cheerful demeanor fall away even while still in front of Gretchen.

 _'Even some more of my go-go juice couldn't have given me the energy to deal with this.'_

"So, what's our next course of action?" I ask. "We can't give Keef the slip forever." I point out, smiling nervously.

Gret just shrugs helplessly, so I continue again.

"We could inform a teacher." I propose.

Gret finally speaks up. "That won't help."

I give her a questioning look and she continues, "None of them really care y'know..."

"What about- that Mr. Elliot fellow?" I begrudgingly suggest. "He seems like the kind of guy who'd -you know- care." I refuse to say he's nice, but I do admit he takes bullying quite seriously.

"That's why he wouldn't help..." Gret says, pauses, then continues. "He's _**too**_ understanding. He'll probably think Keef just wants to be friends...in a normal way."

"Dagnabbit! I think you may just be right." I say in a raspy voice, (my best impression of a Batguy voice) while rubbing my chin.

Then a lightbulb lights up in my head. "Hey Gret! Do you remember why Keef started stalking us?"

"Yeah...but what does-" Gret comes to a realization. "Keef thinks that we're-"

"-model specimens of friendship." I finish for her, then continue.

"So if we pretend to hate each other- maybe he'll go away?" I conclude hopefully, allowing my wide grin to resurface as I wait for Gret's reply.

"It's...worth a try." She finally says. I beam at her.

"Yeah! And we can still talk!" I exclaim. A little unsure of when that'd be, I continue hesitantly, "Whenever we think he's not looking."

Gret pauses, nods, then bravely (on her part), asks, "Do you...want my phone number?"

I should've asked that. Of course everyone in The City in this day and age has some sort of phone..."Of course, Gret!" I shout excitedly, then falter _. 'Whoops! Wouldn't want Keef to hear if he's out there.'_

We swap our phones and begin to exchange numbers, until I come up with another idea.

"If _**the stalker**_ gets a hold of our phones or sees our texts, we should have code names." I type my code name on her phone. "I'm Gladys. If he overhears you or sees you texting or just asks about me, you tell him you met me-" I remember her hobbies. "At soccer practice."

"Okay...I'll be...Stacy." She types it in. "We met at...a gaming tournament."

"Alrighty!" I whisper. We should've probably whispered during this entire conversation. I hope Keef didn't hear anything.

"Hate on?" I ask, extending a fist to Gret with a huge grin. It'll be the last openly happy smile directed at her for a bi- while.

 **"** _ **Hate on**_ **."** She repeats and taps my fist with her own.

 _'Now that's what I call a bro- er... **bud** fist._ **'** I think to myself.

I turn to the door and morph my expression into a glare. As soon as I open it, Keef is one of the first _things_ to meet my disdainful gaze.

I quickly and abruptly turn to Gretchen with my menacing glower and yell, "I deplore you, foul creature of the braced-kind!"

 _'Ouch. Getting real personal there, with the braces thing. I hope she takes it with a pinch of salt. But it has to look real to Keef.'_ I think to myself.

"I um..." Gret starts, looking down. The she looks up with a glare as well. "I...hate you too, Bit."

"Guys, guys!" Keef butts in. "How about we settle this with a friendly game of teatherball?" He asks cheerfully.

I blink and think, _'Oh this guy is way too stubborn. **Frickin' heck!** Pardon my potty mouth.'_

I start my roast again.

"Never shall I associate myself with another uhhh-" I struggle to think of an insult. I genuinely like Gret, so it's hard. "-purple-haired girl of her caliber ever again!"

"Yeah...and neither I with a dumb..." She seems to hesitate. "Bleach blonde."

I try to keep myself from laughing, but I let out a snort. I look back at Keef and see him raising a brow _-'he's not buying this'-_ and I know I have to _**up my game**_.

"Ha ha! Very funny Gretchen! Very amusing indeed!" I start off, trying to pin my previous laughter on me laughing **_at_** her and not **_with_** her.

"You really think we could be friends already, after one day of me being here? You really are a worthless, detestable creature!" I laugh haughtily. On the inside, I'm hesitating now. I wonder if I went too far.

I study Gretchen's expression very carefully. Her face betrays no emotion after all that I said, but she appears to be trembling ever so slightly. _'Come on Gret, don't take my roast seriously...'_ I think to myself.

Luckily Keef steps in.

"Come on guys. That's enough. Why don't we all just hang out at recess together? Just the _three_ of us." He grins again. Even though I'm worried, I think we still might not have convinced him that we "hate" each other, so I comically do a "hmmph!" sound and look away from Gretchen.

"If you want to hang out with **_her_ **Keef, be my guest, but I don't want anything to do with her!" I suddenly look back at Gretchen to see she's walking away. I outright panic and take out my phone to text her. Keef looks over my shoulder and says, "What'cha doooooing?"

"Nothing. I'm just texting my friend Stacy. She doesn't go to this school, she lived in my old town, but I keep her updated about my life."

"How come you guys haven't shared any messages then?" Keef asks, noticing my empty inbox. _'He's smarter than I give him credit for.'_

"Oh, we have. But I- just got a new phone...last night." I lie. Luckily my phone is in good condition and doesn't have a cracked screen or anything.

"Wouldn't your messages be backed up though?" Keef pries.

"Normally yeah, but- I switched from my PINEapple phone to BOTdroid. They're incompatible. Anyway! I'm gonna send her a message now!"

 _Bit: first day at new school has been trash, **hope you're doing okay without me.**_

I text that last part in a subtle way, so it seems like I was talking about me having moved away.

"Awww c'mon Bit! Your first day can't have been that bad!" Keef whines while staring at my phone. _'UGH, as if stalkers can even feel sympathy for others._ _'_

"Nope Keef. It's been absolutely horrid! Mostly because of you and- that- **_horrible_** girl." I say, dramatically putting emphasis on the last few words.

 _'At least she's not here to hear his anymore.'_ I think.

"You two are so saaaaaad.' Keef whines again, sounding like a five year old.

"No." I say. "We are furious at each other. We loathe each other's very beings. It's like an atom bomb went off in each other's brains, a huge explosion of pure, unrivaled-"

"In the bathroom?" Keef cuts in, snickering.

I deadpan. What is wrong with this kid? Oh right. Everything. Guess I still _somehow_ had to add immaturity to that list though.

For some reason though, I decide to feed his revolting glutton of a sense of humor.

"Yes Keef. The bathroom is a horrible place, where we get rid of all the filth in our _very_ lives." I say with a serious expression.

And let me tell you, he starts shrieking like a freaking howler monkey at that.

And now he's...rolling on the floor. Weird... And not really what I was going for, (I have no idea what I **_was_** going for to be honest) but hey... I see my chance to escape.

I run into the bathroom again. Shoulda just done this from the start. But I guess I had to give Gretchen the chance to escape as well.

I still have my backpack on my back, as I didn't bother to put it in the locker I was assigned before lunchtime, so I take my Gameslave out of its case and play some boss levels on Mughead while humming the main menu theme (Well, Mughead and his pal Cupman~~~) until I reach the end of the lunch break.

Sure enough, time flies on by like an um... _'what's a saying that has to do with birds? Birds of a feather flock together? But that doesn't really make any sense in this context.'_

Well, anyway, time flies like...a duck-billed platypus (because I'm sick of actual birds and prefer a billed-mammal) that was flung off a speeding bullet train. And I know they don't normally fly, but many things probably would at that speed. One of them being a platypus. So that's good enough for me!

I exit the bathroom a little before my next class begins, I need to find the classroom it's taking place in before it's too late after all.

Some more classes pass by and soon it's nearing the end of the school day. My final class for the day is history with the Bitters herself. And though I'm slightly shaking in my boots just at the very thought of her (I'm wearing sneakers but who cares), I can honestly say I'm glad I'll be getting home soon.

The kids stampede into the class. I'm one of the last to enter the room. I sit down in my usual spot in the front row and only then do I notice a _**green**_ boy standing beside Ms. Bitters at the front of the class. Must be another new student. And at the end of MY first day! Weird.

Speaking of weird (or well, not to be rude, but it isn't something you see everyday-)...

Is he wearing makeup? Or does he have some sort of...skin condition? And he has no ears... Or even holes where his ears should be.

Now, I'm not one to be judgemental myself, but I hope others are understanding of his differences.

As I'm pondering this interesting new student, Miss Bitters rasps disdainfully, "Class, I would like to introduce yet another, hopeless appendage to the student body."

"His name is... Zim."

Now addressing the new boy, "Zim", she states with authority, "Zim, if you have something to say. Say it now, because after this moment, _**I don't wanna hear another sound from you!"**_

 _ **'** Yeesh, she must be in a bad mood.' _I think twice. _'Then again, she always is.'_

After that, Zim is quiet for a brief moment, fiddling with his hands, then, he speaks up.

"Hello, friends. I am a perfectly normal human worm baby."

 _'Oh my gosh, I think I like... his voice. Weird... And the fact that he's dehumanizing the very...human race? Perfectly suited to my humor. I love how serious he seems about it too! Wait... What if he is serious?'_ I start to suspect something's up at that moment, but don't voice my thoughts.

I look around a little. Most everyone I see seems to be disinterested in Zim's speech, all except for me and one other. Dib Membrane, that kid I met earlier, is sitting in his chair, mouth agape, pointing at Zim. I don't know what he's thinking in that big head of his, but it must be... something all right.

"You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me." Zim says, sounding sarcastic. Maybe he thinks we actually _**should**_ fear him.

 _'And that's a bit of an edgy thing to say in general, isn't it? Maybe he feels the need to make veiled threats -to deter bullying- as well...'_ I think to myself.

But somehow I doubt that this kid is anything like me...or anyone I've met before. He seems to have a huge sense of self-superiority about him.

"Just pay no attention to me and we'll get along just fine." He concludes his short speech, raising his arms in an eager expression.

 _'Not gonna happen bud, you've already caught my attention. Wait, I'm starting to sound like a stalker. Great. I'm just like Keef.'_

I then think back to him rolling around on the floor and howling like a monkey. _'But not quite.'_

"Take your seat _**now**_ , Zim." The Bitters screeches again.

Zim doesn't have to be told twice, before plopping himself down in the only empty spot...next to me. I smile widely and wave at him. He gives me an angry glare, but I don't falter, I do however stop staring to avoid being rude.

 _'Our first interaction._ _There's been a lot of firsts today, but this one feels...intriguing.'_

* * *

 **Author's Note: Imma answer the reviews now! :3**

 **Anifan13 - Thank you so much for your feedback on the first two chapters! :D I'm very glad you think it's awesome! And that I've been able to make Bit relatable...in a wacky sorta way! xD What I mean is, I wanted to make the humor sort of cartoonish and even dark at times (like Invader Zim's), but at the same time it still has to be realistic enough and not super random all the time. Like in Bit's reactions to injustices. Her reactions are** **usually over the top, but not in a too unreasonable way. If you know what I mean. xD**

 **tiffania.y - Thanks a lot for the feedback as well! :D I just love getting reviews! Even when they're not constructive criticism/saying what I could improve, I love to hear what people think of my stories and their experiences while reading it. I'm overjoyed** **that you've been enjoying it so far, short as it is. And I'm also happy that the story hasn't been too cluttered and is understandable despite being...pretty wacky. :)**

 **Oh yeah, just so you guys know... The regular quotation marks " " are for speech and the singular ones ' ' are for thoughts. I hope that's been clear! ;_;**

 **I don't really have much else to say. As always, thanks to everyone for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following aaaand I'll see you next time! Piggy out!**


	4. Chapter 4 - The Nightmare Begins part 2

**Author's note: Sorry, but this chapter is a bit shorter than usual! ^^**

 **JustBeStill - Thanks! :D Hope this chapter is interesting too!**

 **CC - Thanks! And you'll just have to wait and see! ;)**

* * *

Chapter 4 : The Nightmare Begins part 2

"Today's lecture is about outer space... and how it will eventually implode in on itself!" Miss Bitters screeches. _'I thought this was supposed to be history class. Oh well, seems like this woman will lecture us on whatever she wants. Then again, mathematically proven and experimentally observed theories basically say that space and time (history) are one and the same... '_

I snap out of my thoughts as suddenly, Zim stands on his desk with both of his arms up in the air. The other kids hardly seem to notice.

"Yes Zim?" Miss Bitters inquires _. 'If he disturbed her lecture, it had better be for something worthwhile.'_

"In the event of, say, a full-scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be? Tell me!" Zim asks.

 _'Okay, he's definitely an alien.'_ I think, as my suspicions are practically confirmed. _'Let's just see how this goes...'_

Miss Bitters, however, just ignores him and drones on, "as I was saying, the universe is just doomed. Doomed, doomed, doooooooooooomed," leaving me in a state of partial uncertainty.

 _'On the one hand, he practically admitted it. On the other hand, could any alien invader really be this imbecilic?'_

Miss Bitters is now in a state of total obliviousness to her surroundings, as she continues to chant that one word, "doom, doom, doom, doom..." She's pretty much completely entranced, so she doesn't stop when Dib finally speaks up,

"Okay, am I the only one here who sees the alien sitting in class?"

I glance behind me at the students to see them all looking around for the said alien _. 'You have got to be kidding me...'_

"There!" Dib continues, pointing at Zim. "Right there!" I see Zim looking nervous and he appears to be sweating out of sheer fear of the situation. I feel like I might have to interfere soon, this feels like bullying. Even if it is probably true that he's an alien.

"That is no kid! He's an alien! An alien! One of the monsters I've been talking about! He's here to conquer Earth!" Dib states with utmost certainty, clearly aiming to start some sort of "witch-hunt".

There's a moment of silence and I notice Zim nervously looking at a button that has ominously appeared on his sleeve. He looks as if he's considering pressing it. I finally decide to intervene. Even if Zim said he was an alien invader, I kinda doubt it. He's probably just a lunatic. He doesn't deserve to be treated this way on his first day, right? I decide.

I whisper, "Zim!" and when he looks up, I wink.

I stand on top of my desk, like Zim did earlier, except facing the class and I ask with a wide grin on my face: "Who here feels they are different? Please stand up and make yourself heard."

I wasn't sure if this was gonna work, but I wanted to distract everyone anyway. However, someone in the back surprisingly gets up. It's a kid that looks...like an old man?

"How's it goin'? My name is Don, some of you might know me as "Old Kid"." He coughs, a dry old cough, the continues, "I'm not really old, but I have a condition which makes me age faster than others."

"Does that make him an alien?" I yell. aiming to start a cheer and the other kids yell back, "No!"

Then, surprisingly, other kids start to speak of their insecurities,

"My hair is the same color as my head!" A boy **(AN: Bit doesn't know their names, but it's Melvin)** yells.

"I dwon't actually wike dwagons, only unicowns!" A girl **(Mary)** says.

"I haven't changed my socks for a month!" Another boy **(Carl)** says.

"I don't like using the bathroom at school, so I hold my wee-wee all day long!" Says one boy **(Zootch)** and is followed by a silent pause as everyone gapes at him. Only a few monkey noises can be heard, for some reason.

I shake my head clear of the awkwardness and exclaim delightedly, "Yeah...Anyway! We're all different! So, let's give Zim a chance, shall we?" Everyone murmers their agreement -and I get down from my desk- until Dib speaks up (more like yells) again.

"This is what he wants you to think! I know what I heard last night! He's here to conquer Earth! Look no further than his horrible green head for evidence!" Dib yells derangedly.

"Insolent fool boy! It's a skin condition." Zim's eyes move from side to side as he says this. I know he's obviously lying. I hope I made the right choice in backing him after all.

"And where are his ears?! Is that part of your "skin condition", Zim? No ears?" Dib pushes his point further.

"Yes," Zim mutters, looking convincingly sad.

The students all look extremely angrily at Dib now and I speak up again, addressing Dib this time.

"Okay Dib, I think you've made your views clear. You have as much right as everyone else to state your opinion, but you can't insult your classmates. If you have a problem, take it somewhere else." I say, glaring at Dib.

"But- but-" Dib starts and the other classmates now speak up.

"Be quiet, Dib!"

"Stuff it Membrane boiiiiii!"

"Shut your freakishly big head Dib!1!1!" One kid screams.

Dib and I continue to glare at each other until the Bitters says, simultaneously with the bell, "Go now!"

A lot of the kids jump out of the windows of the classroom. Zim, -along with some others, such as Gretchen, who scurries off to the front- exits through the classroom through the door like a normal person. I follow him out of the building and so does Dib.

Dib rushes up to confront Zim who has stopped on the main steps of the building.

"Zim. Maybe your cruddy little disguise worked on everyone else, but I'll get them to see the truth."

"No one will believe you," Zim says in a sinister tone, turning back to Dib.

Dib slides down the banister to the front of the stairs and Zim and replies, "They'll believe if I bring you to them without your disguise." Then he pulls out a pair of handcuffs.

I walk down the stairs, following them. That is, until I notice the skool bus is waiting. I'd better go now or I won't have a ride home!

I speak up, "Sorry to disturb you guys, but I gotta go so..."

"No one cares, Bit!" Dib says agitatedly.

"Don't get your head-scythe in a bunch, Dib!" I say cheerfully, disturbing them further. "Anyway, byyyyyye!" I run away and through the open doors of the bus and glance behind me.

I see a chase beginning with Dib chasing after Zim with the handcuffs. _'This isn't good...'_

Unfortunately, at that moment, the doors close and the bus driver starts the bus up, not even giving me a chance to find a seat.

I walk down the aisle and some girls from my class speak up, "Hey, sit with us, Bit." I politely decline and go over to around the middle of the bus, where I find Gretchen, sitting alone as usual.


	5. Chapter 5 - The Nightmare Begins part 3

**Author's Note: Okay, so I know I took forever... But I have a lot of stories to work on. ;_; Still, I'll try to update this more frequently!**

 **CE - Yeah! Bit is trying not to take sides, but it's not too easy honestly. xD**

* * *

After the girls ask me to sit with them, I walk more towards the middle of the bus, looking for Gretchen. I suddenly truly realize where I am.

The skool bus. A horrendous, malodorous vehicle crawling with the revolting child-spawn of human-kind. A terrible, constantly-raging cacophony of screeching and other various unpleasant sounds can be heard at all times.

And worst of all, the dregs of humanity: Bullies. They are currently lounging near the middle of the bus. One, -who I briefly recognize as one of Snot-face's buddies- tries to spew some sort of insult; which, as an act, is an insult to my intelligence in itself just for _**believing**_ I would listen.

I simply march on past, avoiding him (who is now dubbed Stink-breath, as a parallel to Snot-face and because his breath actually _**stinks**_ _ **, like really bad, I could smell it from across the bus**_ ). Also, Snot face's straying attempts to trip me completely fail as I climb along the edge of the seat area across the corridor from them, causing minor discomfort to the kid sitting there.

I finally reach my objective: Gretchen, who is all by herself once more near the middle of the bus.

"Hey Gret! What's up?" I say as I walk over to Gretchen. She moves her backpack out of the way for me to sit, but doesn't say anything back. I sit down, feeling a little worried. I hope she saw my text. Otherwise she might still be depressed about earlier...

"Hey...You know I didn't mean what I said, right? I was just saying it to get Keef off our necks. Sorry if I went overboard."

"It's okay, Bit... I saw your message. It's not your fault. I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a little too sensitive is all..." She says, looking down but doesn't seem able to say much more. I shake my head as I look back over at her. I don't think she's being entirely honest with herself or me.

"Aww, c'mon. Gret? You have a right to be sad, you know," I say as I frown. She doesn't answer so I suddenly wave my hand in front of her face and say cheerfully, in an attempt to cheer her up,

"Hellooooo, Earth to Gret! Earth to bestie! To my chum! My amigo! My buddy! My friend, my-"

She looks up and finally smiles. It may be a little forced, but it's -at the very least- a little reassuring.

"I'm fine. Don't worry. Let's... talk about something else."

I fully oblige, not wanting to possibly upset her for real this time. Even though I'm worried, I really just want us to remain friends. Don't ask why I have so much faith in her on only my first day, but somehow I think she's my kind of person. Anyway, I know Gret may have her own problems she doesn't wish to speak of, so that's why I don't push the subject any further.

I end up showing her Mughead, one of my favorite games for the Gameslave. They actually recently released some new extra-costing-content, or ECC for short, -which you can load on an all new cartridge-, for it which is cool, although I question the company's choices since the Gameslave 2 should be coming out soon enough (along with another Vampire Piggy Hunter upon launch, probably). She plays a bit, but isn't very good.

I also would have shown her Splashtoon (a game where you can be a half-octosquiddy person), but it has weird controls so it would've been hard to play on the bus. I know you can turn them off, but it's more immersive to use them for some reason. Maybe if she came over sometime or if I visited her...we could play that and Mughead better.

We don't get to play for all that long however. Suddenly, the bus stops and out of the corner of my eye, I see a kid climbing on top of the bus from the front window. Could it be...Dib? What the heck's going on?

I'm on the left side of the bus, Gretchen is sitting by the window, but soon after, I notice something fly down from the left side window. A quickly-moving green blur. Could that be Zim? Is he okay? Gretchen seems to notice too, but doesn't say anything. I'm worried that Dib and Zim's fight got a little too intense. Did they both climb on top of the bus?

In the heat of the moment, I press the stop button to get off the bus. Gretchen looks over at me, perhaps realizing that this isn't my stop and I simply wave to her with a grin, stuffing my stuff into my backpack, before I hurry and rush out the door. I now briefly see Dib running along the top of a fence. Wow, how can he keep his balance like that? ' _Must be years of experience.'_ I think to myself, avoiding making more questions for myself.

I run around the corner from the bus stop and follow Dib to where he's running. With the strange handcuffs from before, I notice.

Suddenly, Zim crawls out from some hedges beyond the fence Dib was running on, which is strangely bent open there so there's a gap he can fit through. He picks up a boot lying on the sidewalk and puts it on hastily. I realize he looks pretty beaten up. Maybe there was something on the other side of the fence. I once again wonder if he's quite okay.

And then, get this, he suddenly jumps up and tackles Dib over the fence! A fall like that unprepared could have killed him!

But then, even more worrying, dust clouds appear from the other side of the fence as something -which I soon recognize to be a guard dog- brutally attacks Dib.

I hardly notice Zim pull some alien device from his backpack and call for help, while still balancing on top of the fence. I walk over to the hedge where Dib is being attacked and pull out a dog treat from my backpack. I conveniently got some from a free handout in the city and forgot to take it out of my backpack. What can I say? Sometimes I come across actual cute dogs (my favorites are daschshunds or well, weiner dogs) and I figured I should take some since they were free!

There's a gap in the fence where I go through the hedge. I gulp, bracing myself for the worst and look through the hedge _. 'I can't be scared.'_

Dib's being mauled by the dog, trying his best to push it off. I throw the unwrapped dog treat in his direction and watch as the dog takes its attention off of Dib. Dib then scrambles towards me and the opening in the hedge/fence. I hold out a hand and help pull him towards safety.

"Thanks." Dib says, still regarding me warily. I nod and we both turn our attention towards Zim, whose help seems to have arrived. A green dog with jets picks him up and speeds away, leaving a trail of smoke behind...

 _ **Leaving a trail...**_

Dib seems elated as I glance at him and he then runs off to follow the trail of smoke Zim left. I worriedly continue after him, albeit I can't keep up the pace as well, so I go after him slower. I got this far. Might as well continue on to the end of this encounter.

"There you are." Dib exclaims. Hidden partially behind the fence of Zim's house and smoke, I'm not sure if either Zim or Dib know that I'm there, but I can see them pretty well. Zim's house looks really weird, with a lot of garden gnomes and lawn ornaments in general, but I try to listen in on their conversation instead of devoting time and energy wondering about that. I can't see Dib's expression, but Zim seems intimidated by him a bit, saying, "Quick! Get in the house, Gir!"

 _'Gir? Is that his "dog's" name? Better keep that in mind...'_

Robot parents greet Zim at the door. (They're clearly robots as they have wheels and other certain characteristics that identify them as such.) They drone a greeting and Zim enters the house. Dib attempts to follow him inside, but the door closes on him. I trail behind, staying near to the opening to Zim's lawn in case he has lasers or something typical of alien weapons.

"Your little tricks won't fool me, Zim! I know where you live now!" Dib begins to monologue, still holding his handcuffs in his hand. I decide that I want to make it clear I'm not on Dib's or anyone's side, in case Zim saw me. I take out my notebook and some tape and jot down a quick note for Zim, folding it up in two halves and drawing a smiley face on the front. Suddenly, after a while of monologuing, Dib's handcuffs get vaporized by... one of the garden gnomes _? 'Yeesh, I knew those things were creepy, but wow...They shoot lasers?'_

Dib seems less sure of himself, but continues yelling from behind Zim's front door. That's just sad... I begin to walk up to the door next to him, piece of paper in hand and tape in the other. A gnome begins to come up to me. I wonder if it thinks the stuff in my hands are weapons...

I know this is a stupid and risky idea, but...I'm curious.

I silently wonder if these lawn gnomes have some sort of AI. They probably do, seeing as they can detect threats and are advanced alien technology... I'm guessing Zim's "dog" might be a robot too. If they see I'm not a threat, will they deliver a message? They didn't kill Dib, so I suppose Zim doesn't want to hurt anyone, at least, not just yet, maybe so as to not draw attention to himself... It is still daytime, after all.

I walk up to the lawn gnome and crouch down to almost its level, so as to become smaller and less of a threat. It doesn't move. I wonder if I should try talking to it...

"Hey, can you hear me?" I ask it. It doesn't reply. I wonder if it even has the function of nodding its head, but it isn't attacking me either so...

"Can you take care of this and give this to Zim? It's just a message, I promise." I take a couple pieces of of tape, put them on my note, and slowly, but surely, hold out the note and attempt to put it in the gnome's stubby "hand". It doesn't seem to have fingers, so I tape the note onto its hand.

I slowly get up, nodding my head and say, "thank you," backing off the lawn. Dib, unfortunately, is now about to be dragged away by the other lawn gnomes. I've already backed off and am at the entrance to the lawn so they don't go after me next.

Dib gets thrown onto the sidewalk and I'm there waiting for him. I offer a hand to help him up, but he doesn't accept it, opting to get up on his own. He brushes off his clothes and looks towards me.

"What are you looking at?" He asks angrily. _'You'd think he'd be more grateful for my help, but...'_

"Don't act surprised. I saw you getting all friendly with those lawn gnomes." Dib states and I don't say anything back at first.

"That's what I thought. You know he won't be your friend, right? No one would want to be friends with someone like you who thinks they know better about everything." Dib scoffs, then turns and walks off _. 'Jerk.'_ I think to myself, but his words kind of hit home.

 _'What if I'm making a horrible mistake by trying to befriend Zim? And maybe, just maybe help and attempt to befriend Dib as well?'_

 **Zim's POV**

After a while of waiting for the human filthies...that Dib-worm and that other hyooman, to depart, I'm about to head to my glorious base to speak with my Tallest about my mission and its progress, when the computer informs me of something.

"Master, the human girl left a message with one of the gnomes," the computer screen that emerged from the ceiling shows a picture of the human female with the wide orange-y colored eyes and the white "head of hair", so they call it.

"Why should I, the great Zim, be interested in seeing this?" I yell at this infernal machine. Dare it think, that I, the amazing Invader Zim, would stoop so low as to want to hear from this inferior being?

"Sir, with all due respect, she could be a useful asset in helping us gain information about this world, if she wishes to cooperate, that is." This computer...it dares to defy me?!

Of course it would be useful to gain more information, but at what cost is it too much? I already have to go to this dreaded "skool" of theirs, what more could I possibly learn from a single one of these hyoomans?

"Silence! You shall not speak of this again! The day that Zim decides to fraternize with lower lifeforms shall be the day Zim is just another of these billions of human insects!"

"Alright, Sir." The computer says with a sigh, obeying its master.

 **Third person POV**

The computer already understood that Zim was stubborn, but even so, it would not be so hasty to disregard everything it said.

The computer silently and somewhat discreetly, stored away the note it had received from one of the lawn gnomes and put away the video and screen as well. The lawn gnomes could sprout up and go underground at will and the computer was able to access all sorts of rooms as well. It had also recieved the video from the specific lawn gnome's memory, although the clip appeared more bulgy through the gnomes' eyes.

The computer yearned for the day to come when it wouldn't just be blatantly ignored and unknown to it, soon enough, Zim would be looking for a human "best friend".

 **But that's a story for another time, ain't it folks?**

 **Oh no, I'd better hide before Bit gets back. She hates third person! Narrator, out! *jumps out random window***


End file.
